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Is female attraction to men real?

Are any women honestly attracted to men? I feel very confused about this now. I always felt like I was bisexual and just liked whoever I found attractive with a good personality that I connected with. I was always more into women overall but I used to be able to be attracted to individual men. So when I felt like I wanted to date I figured I’d try dating men first and see how that went because obviously that’s much easier to fit in. I’ve already always been weird enough by this society’s insane terms. But the more I’ve actually been around men and the more I learn about how they actually act and how brutal they have been to women throughout space and time for seemingly all of our history and how most of them are complete disgusting perverts, the more I find them completely repulsive and feel sickened by having to deal with them at all. Any small lingering sexual thought I have towards any man at this point is immediately accompanied by feeling like I’m going to vomit.

They have been raping, beating, mutilating, torturing, and brainwashing us for as far back as we can see. Even very ancient bones show the women’s skulls bashed in and their arms broken. We’ve spent so much effort trying to free ourselves from them. None of this seems like we ever wanted to be with them and they never cared about us besides using us to reproduce them and for their slave labor. Not exactly a love story.

This is such a painful and confusing thing to talk about because so many women love some men. I still love my male family members. Other women have male family they love. Lots of women have husbands they love romantically. We’re so intertwined with them. It’s hard to even think these things that there is something evil about them but I can’t ignore all the evidence in front of my face that there is. I believe they all have evil in them but some can control it better than most. But will it still inevitably come out in every man at some point? I don’t know.

I keep thinking about bed bugs where the males use traumatic insemination to impregnate the females, where they basically just stab the females bodies and inject their sperm. It’s obviously a highly destructive horrible act that the females try to avoid, but since they can’t avoid it they developed a specialized spot where they get the males to focus on to mitigate the damage… Is this what an orgasm is for us?!? We can’t avoid them hurting us so our bodies do things to lessen the damage. Is the penis inherently violent? Is it at weapon, rather than just something that they have weaponized with all their raping? Are all our sexual urges simply a response to their violence? I’ve been thinking about it for a while and can’t get it out of my head lately.

I read some things a while back that women wrote arguing that women are not naturally attracted to men that were very convincing and have had me thinking about this for a while. (I’ll post them later when I’m on my computer, on my phone now.) And looking back at everything I’ve learned throughout my life from my own experiences, things women have told me, and all the extensive reading I have done, now I’m really thinking it is not real to be attracted to them at all.

If it was why would they have to imprison and rape us and force a lifetime of brainwashing on us? And still it barely takes. Even the women who say they are totally straight will typically say that penises are ugly and will have higher standards for what they actually want than the vast majority of men can fulfill even though the standards are still so low.

I always found only such a small number of them attractive at all, a good looking man is rare, while there’s a pretty woman around every corner. I at first thought women just generally accepted that most men are ugly and were willing to accept them because women are kind and loving. But I thought that most women would only be actually attracted to the pretty boys that I was. The guys that are typically the most wanted by women are the cute and “feminine” looking ones, like boy band type guys are wanted by so many women. Then I eventually realized that lots of women say they are attracted to all these big hairy troll looking dudes and it left me very confused.

I tried to like men. I tried to love them. They are just not lovable and I ended up hating them now. I don’t want to feel hate, I wish they could just quit being so awful but it took women so much work just to get them this “good” that I seriously doubt they are going to get significantly better.

I tried to be “normal” and just get with a dude. I found a little cute one that seemed decent and had a relationship with him. I really loved him and cared about him right up until he decided he was done with me after I had been severely injured and ill for years and needed a lot of help and he turned into a huge asshole after so many years together. I don’t even know how much I ever was really attracted to any man though. When I would see my ex from behind I would look at his cute little smooth body and think he kind of looks like a woman and get turned on. When we would be out somewhere in dim light and someone would see two people the same size with both long hair and refer to us as “ladies” at first glance I would get turned on by that too. That just sounds really gay honestly, like I was always just a lesbian in denial and I thought I could fit in and be normal if I could find a guy that was enough like a woman, but not in a weird tranny way, that I could get into it.

From lots of things I’ve read in radical feminist spaces, where women are allowed to be brutally honest with all their thoughts and feelings, it seems pretty common for women to lose attraction towards men after really learning about them. And it is very common for women to gain attraction towards other women too. So bi women will become lesbian or women who feel like they are only straight will then feel like they are now bi or even completely lesbian too. I didn’t think I could get more attracted towards women because I’ve always been into women already but I have too, thinking about how strong we are to have endured all this has made women even more beautiful to me. So I used to feel like I was bisexual in a relationship with a man and so didn’t have any need to announce to people that I like women too. But apparently now I’m just a “closeted” lesbian. I feel very confused and weird about what other people’s reactions might be. I don’t have any actual friends any more and family is all distant and my mom is the only one I actually care about her reactions to things. She would freak out if I have a girlfriend at some point, but she would get over it too. So whatever I guess.

I really wonder about other women’s thoughts that are learning all this stuff about men’s biological and social reality and really understanding it, who are partnered with a man or even just feeling attraction towards men. When I started really truly learning the truth it blew my fucking mind, when I first came across Sheila Jeffreys “Beauty and Misogyny” suddenly I say the ugliness in everything that I could only glimpse before. A fucking horror show covered in beautiful wrapping. I was with a man at the time and it created so much cognitive dissonance wondering if there was something horrible going on inside his head too, wondering if there was something evil in all of them. I do believe there is evil energy attached to the Y. There is something missing from them with all the genes they are missing compared to us and there is something horrific that is connected to them somehow.

I no longer have any idea how to deal with men even in regular casual interactions. I don’t want to be mean or rude to random strangers but I’m tired of being nice to them because I know it’s going to result in something negative for me, even with just the smallest interactions, if I am polite to male neighbors and cashiers and the goddamn UPS asshole it will result in them taking the opportunity to insult me and laugh in my face while they do it and tell me it was a joke. Sure they won’t all do it and possibly some of them might be nice, I have no way of knowing, but showing any sort of basic human politeness is setting up so many of them to do something bad. Every little interaction adds up too. Someone insulting you is not such a big deal but a culture where it’s normal for men to make constant effort to bring you down is a big deal, it wears you down bit by bit.

There is always the possibility of course that small interactions you thought were normal and polite will lead to creepy obsessions, like the scary drunken neighbor who was clearly out of his mind and would try to run out of his house and follow me every time I walked my dog. I’ve gotten so lucky in life that I’ve managed to have never been raped or hit. But men still have fucked me up badly with their insanity. Men following me in their cars when I went for walks alone at dusk until I got scared and ran away, men screaming at me, men insulting me, men groping me, men just generally acting like fucking psychos, and worst of all the asshole doctors have all traumatized me. And a horrible piece of shit neighbor abused his dogs and trained then to attack then let them loose in the neighborhood where they were able to run into my yard and kill two of my precious cats which was the most horrific experience. That stuff was all plenty bad enough to fuck me up.

And every time another friend got raped or some other awful thing that some man did to her all really fucked me up too. All the cumulative horror of being trapped in this hell dimension with these demons weighs heavily on me. When it gets quiet sometimes it’s like I can hear the tortured screams of all women crying for freedom as we’re all painfully tortured. So honestly how could we be attracted to them?

When I see an ugly man now I think about how much raping his ancestors must have done because women wouldn’t have been choosing them. That is what ugliness actually is, rapeyness. I don’t ever look at a woman and think she’s ugly, plenty of women are not attractive to me but I don’t think they are ugly. I think that ugliness that I am seeing in lots of men is just the evil in them showing through.

Now all I can think about is getting away from these demons and doing everything I can to help my sisters, all women, to be less handicapped than what they have forced on us in any way I possibly can. I want only female friends and business partners. Eventually I’d like to find a woman to love. I only have basic interactions with male family anyway. The only male I want to be around anymore is my sweet innocent *neutered* boy cat.

Writing next all about the ritual mutilation of girls hands and feet.

166 replies on “Is female attraction to men real?”

I am married to a man, for almost 20 years. I was married to him for a long time before I discovered radical Feminism.

Firstly, and most importantly, I do not and would never inflict him onto other women. I am totally ok with women disliking or distrusting him immediately, or even just hating him from go, although I don’t know if any woman ever has felt that way. I don’t take how other women feel about him personally, he is male, and he is even white. So he is going to be ok.

I don’t engage in PIV, and I haven’t for years. He is fine with it, and he is still faithful, although our age probably has something to do with that. And the fact that we are friends.

Since I have stopped participating in PIV, I have decided that it is probably not natural, or something that would naturally happen between males and women if males didn’t take great pains to make it mandatory.

My shortest answer is that hetero relationships, PIV, any sexual activity with males, males living in our houses, and many other things may or may not be a naturally occurring thing, but it’s impossible to tell because males have forced all manner of unnatural behavior using multiple systems. So I just don’t know. But my instinct says that if a male is demanding something, then it’s because it is something that will never be freely offered to him.

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I bought into the idea of romantic love, that’s for sure. But I wasn’t loved as a child or adult in my family so I was particularly vulnerable to that fantasy. A lot of women probably are. Maybe that longing for love, safety, acceptance and whatnot feels like attraction, when you find someone you think might give that to you, or maybe “giving your body” in exchange for love and safety feels like an easy compromise. And then self-lubrication makes the transaction easier. lol. Wow that’s so cynical but it could easily be the source of women’s sexual feelings (to create needed lubrication so we aren’t killed or damaged in the act which we trade for love). Love is hard to find, afterall, esp for women in a patriarchal culture where we are in fact roundly hated. I get tired of being hated, even now, and being rescued from that would be really nice. But being sick, I know my body couldn’t handle a pregnancy and all I see now when I see men is pregnancy risk, and that’s on top of hating and rejecting males as a class. I can’t even do the exceptionalism anymore bc they all need to put their dick into women so I only see them as a threat.

I agree with RFS above, if PIV and het partnering were so natural, women would not need to be coerced into it. I still feel coerced into it bc I want to be rescued from this hell so badly. But there are material barriers to het partnering for me now that would make that impossible. I literally could die bc I do not think this level of vulnerability is survivable. No one can say for sure that any of this is natural for women when women’s survival is wrapped up so tightly in our availability and proximity to men and there is plenty of evidence that it’s not natural at all, including some cultures where (apparently) recreational intercourse does not exist. There is a conversation on my old blog, and maybe even a link, discussing an African women’s community that scoffed at a Westerner’s suggestion that the women still have intercourse with men even tho they don’t live with them. The women said that they don’t have intercourse except to create children. If there were other cultures like that, we likely wouldn’t ever know or hear about them for propaganda purposes, or bc they are “uncontacted” communities, or bc no one ever thought to ask and just assumes that everyone fucks for entertainment purposes. It’s also possible that cultures that don’t fuck recreationally would naturally die out.

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Also, I think defensive self-lubrication adequately explains women’s alleged “rape fantasies” and women reporting becoming aroused before, during and after being raped. It has to do with the act, not the circumstances surrounding it. Which is pretty much how men regard sex too, as virtually (or precisely) indistinguishable from rape. Attraction or whatever has nothing to do with it for men or women it seems.

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On my more cynical days, it’s everything that I can do to keep from encouraging women to partner with males, as a defense, as a safety, as a security. But then I remember that if decent males were findable, most women would partner with them.

Not very radical of me. But I want all of us to have a chance at a little peace and happiness.

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Yes that’s exactly what I’m thinking, that men demand all this contact with us so much because we would never offer it to them otherwise.

So do you feel genuinely sexually attracted to your husband, or did you ever since you don’t feel interested in sex anymore? Or was it just about being close to him? I am really wondering if any women honestly find them attractive or we just like the feeling of closeness and security, that usually don’t even turn out to be real in relationships with men.

The way I look at them is like looking at a bunch of monkeys, because that is how they act, and over there are some monkeys beating up on each other, then over there are some monkeys throwing poop, okay… Well look over there, that monkey’s so cute and not doing anything gross! Maybe I could train him to be a good monkey. But then you can never really train them to be good monkeys completely and they will eventually throw temper tantrums and behave destructively. It’s honestly more in the same way I look at animals being cute how I assess a man’s attractiveness. I saw a woman saying somewhere how sex with men is beastiality and I keep thinking about that now and how it’s kind of true.

And the way I see sexuality with men is like going to a fun concert with bands playing that are just okay, but you’re still rocking out and having fun and enjoying the time with your friend. Though it’s not the same as going to a concert that you are super into the band and totally into the every sound of the beat and the lyrics and the vibe of everything.

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I don’t know if I was ever sexually attracted to anyone, tbh.

You know how you hear about how marriage is ERMAHGERD SO HARD, Y’ALL? I don’t know where that comes from because it is absolutely not true. If you’re living with a person, and it is work, then something is very wrong. Especially in an intimate relationship.

I had a lot of PIV with a lot of males. And the sex was just bad, a lot of the time, I didn’t bother with the relationship if the sex was bad. And by bad sex, I mean the male was really lacking, he was lazy, or unskilled, or didn’t take direction, or selfish, or something like that.

My husband was skilled in ways that were important to me, and most importantly, if I said no, for any reason, he didn’t beg or bully, he just went on with his life. And here is the thing about his response that was different from any male that I had ever dealt with, he didn’t take it personally. He didn’t cry about how I was rejecting him, or that I never wanted to fuck, or why wasn’t I attracted to him anymore, and what about HIS OMG NEEDZ???? There was no manipulation, mostly because he doesn’t want to have sex with anyone that doesn’t want to have sex with him.

I get posts all of the time from males on my blog that absolutely hate my husband. And that’s because, in the mind of the average male, my husband is broken. He isn’t really a male, because I just do whatever I want, and I don’t even provide him on demand PIV, and he is making the rest of the XY look bad, like they could do better, but they just choose not to. See?

And random males tell me, still, that I must not love him, or that I am Lucky that he doesn’t randomly fuck other women, or that I am punishing him, or whatever. I am just one random old lady on the internet, yet, random males STILL try to scare me into providing PIV on demand, lol. And they do it often.

So I don’t know. I don’t know if I have ever been sexually attracted to any male that I have been with. Because even now, even when I have been freed from it, I am still under force, I am still being reminded that I am wrong, and my natural inclination is to just dig my heels in, and I can’t properly consider what I think or feel, because I am responding and/or reacting.

But I can tell you that there will not ever be another one. I have yet to see a male that is not repulsive. Even actors and musicians, I feel like society is demanding that I find them attractive, and I just don’t. They are very much like apes, when I see them trying to interact with each other or do mundane things, it looks like apes having a tea party, I mean, they are doing ok, but they look really uncomfortable trying to look like regular humans and they can’t keep up the facade for very long before they inevitably fall back into natural ape behavior of flinging shit and being just generally gross and off putting.

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I totally bought into the idea of romantic love too. I’m a passionate romantic and got tricked thinking that men can do that. I now only think real romance may be possible with another woman, but I don’t even know about that because it’s so hard for women to find and connect with each other and we’re all so traumatized. I want to just make some friends right now and find women who will work with me and that is hard enough as it is! Everyone I like talking to is scattered all around the world. At least I’m thankful for having the internet to connect with people. But I’m too weird and radicalized to really connect with normal people anymore so any given place is going to have very few people who won’t just think I’m nuts. 😂

That’s exactly what I’m thinking too about what I feel towards men that it’s a longing for love, safety, and acceptance rather than honest attraction. The feeling of a man wanting you so badly is the turn on, not his weird dangling parts. Fucking did feel really super good though. But there was always a mental unpleasantness that went along with it, knowing that I’m actually doing something dangerous that I had to block out to enjoy it. Anything else sexual just feels completely good, but then the dick going inside you brings this fear into it regardless of how it feels physically. Then when I came across all these women’s writings it really made me question why am I even doing this when of course I know it’s dangerous.

I didn’t do it until later than most people do, I knew it has so much risk but it felt like something you are supposed to do and is painted as like the ultimate thing. And you can’t really have a relationship with a man unless you’re letting him put his dick in you or he’s not going to be into it. While to be honest I would have rather dated women anyway and never cared about dick or thought it was anything so amazing. It felt nice, but is way overhyped.

But sometimes when I’m around a gorgeous interesting woman I really do feel real attraction to her. I’m blown away by women’s beauty and grace and intelligence. Anything that women do sexually that isn’t tainted by men’s perversion is so innocent and full of beauty.

While men want to eat shit and drink pee and call that sex. Even though most of them aren’t that level of perversion thankfully, they’re all kind of fucked up. At least they are going to be kind of boring because of too much focus on their dick. I don’t think they really understand sensuality because they are too obsessed with only their dick.

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Oh my God I am fucking dying of laughter. I’m never going to be able to look at men again don’t anything without seeing apes having a tea party. 🤣 That is exactly what it’s like. They are not quite human and trying to act like they are. And even the cuter ones still have something repulsive about them. Even if they are decent to look at and they act okay, something inside them is ugly. It’s hard to see sometimes until you catch glimpses of it.

Living with my ex was hard because we were going through so many hard things. I was in such bad health, grieving all these deaths, and doing this really hard advanced degree. And we were always fucking broke because he couldn’t afford paying for most of our expenses himself but was forced to with me being severely ill/injured and struggling to recover, not knowing what the hell I should do. I have no idea what would have happened had so much hard stuff not happened and we instead went on a bunch of fun trips and not had so many worries. Maybe we would still be together. I don’t know. It really really hurt to lose the relationship I had invested in for all these years. I think I would be happier with women though, even if I don’t find a romantic relationship I will be happier having female friends to enrich each other’s lives. I don’t think a man can ever truly be equal to us. I wish they could.

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I’ve read before where women were saying that sexual lubrication is a means of protecting against damage from rape. Women who are able to get aroused enough from the raping will be more likely to survive it, while women who can’t will be more likely to get badly injured and then maybe get horrible injections with serious health risks. So I’m thinking that us cuming and having orgasms could just all be responses to unavoidable rape that women have faced throughout our evolution. Which is super depressing. That would mean our own body functions are built from their violence. Even if we are experiencing sexual experiences that don’t involve men at all, maybe our whole sexual response is just still a reaction to their raping of our ancestors. If that’s true does that matter though? I don’t know. Does that make sexuality something inherently bad? Or just now it is whatever you make of it?

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That was a very long 2 years. I almost died.

Mr. J shaved his head when I lost my hair. He never complained. I know that he got tired, I know that there were times when he was frustrated and scared, but he never blamed me. He has always said that we are a team.

And he is not some super special, especially smart unicorn. He is just a guy. Trust me, there are things that he does that are a direct result of the Y chromosome that are annoying. But he knows how to be a friend and how to be kind. It’s not difficult.

Even now, we are in dire poverty. But he is my team. We don’t blame each other.

So I don’t know what our relationship would be like if life was only fun. Because fun is something that we rarely ever get.

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I thought so much about trying to find a dude to rescue me too! I feel like shit all the time from so much pain and it is so hard starting from nothing, in serious pain, in a world that is against you. I actually signed up for a dating app months ago. I put whoever could contact me and just saw who would message me just to see how I would feel about things. I started talking to a guy who was sort of cute and he had just gone through a break up of a long term relationship so we were having that in common and talking about how hard it was to get over and just talking nicely about whatever.

Then as soon as he started feeling more comfortable talking with me, he started talking sexually and wouldn’t shut up about his dick. I was enjoying talking to him before that and it was making me feel better because I was lonely so I tried to ignore it and change the subject but of course all they can think about is their stupid dick and how badly they want to show it to us. So after a while I was like okay whatever show me. So he sent me a picture and first he had it under the cover “teasing” me with it, then a few minutes later he sent it uncovered and it was so ugly! It was so weird looking and was circumscribed so the top was discolored from the mutilation. 🤮 And I looked at it and instantly thought, nope I’m definitely a lesbian 100% not into that, don’t want any of them. Then I was weirded out and tried to change the subject.

But a few minutes later he sent a little video of himself masturbating, but put a cat image thing over it that was one of the snapchat extra things, and somehow he thought that would be better than just a regular video. I am still so weirded out from that omg what the hell was that? What even goes through their minds? So that just really reassured me that I am completely repulsed by the thought of being with a man again and I don’t know if it would be worth it but it doesn’t matter because I can’t do it. It makes me feel so sick thinking about it.

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I’m so glad you have that support! That is so good that he hasn’t been awful and has actually helped you.

My dude helped me for a lot longer than two years and it was going okay for a long time but it went on so long because anytime I would heal a bit from something, something new and worse happened and nothing ever got better all the way. Just more shit piled on top.

I want a real team for myself so bad. I want to find multiple women who will join forces with me and create with me. I don’t think the model of your whole life structured around your romantic relationship is a good idea and it’s something forced on us for men to trap us. If the relationship falls apart your whole life falls apart with it.

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I agree with you. I think that women thrive when they live in groups for support.

I read a story a while back about 5 or 6 women in Japan that were close to retirement age, and they bought a house together. If I outlive my husband, and I have some kind of a retirement income, that’s my plan, to invite a few women to live with me.

I don’t want to work, though, lol. I have worked my whole life. I am going to be done with that.

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I want to work very badly! But not slave work bullshit. I was born to create and I have an overwhelming need to do that. My mind is full of ideas insisting to be given form and I need to make it happen no matter what it takes.

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Right after I wrote this last night three new people liked it, before I even gave it tags or anything how did they find it so fast? I know you can find stuff through other people’s blogs that you comment or like stuff on or you can search tags. How does that work that they found something new immediately from a blog they weren’t following? I guess it suggested my post to people.

One of the people who liked it was a man too. 😂 I’m curious what men think about this who are willing to give real thoughtful answers but also don’t want to deal with them. If men try to comment I don’t know if I should let them or not.

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I’ve never been able to figure out if I was genuinely attracted to men or just wanted them to like me. Women and girls learn from a young age that we aren’t worth anything if men don’t like us and I definitely internalized that. I was always so worried about whether or not men liked me that I never stopped to think about whether I liked them or not.

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Yes good point Iris, we’re told so much stuff that we are supposed to feel that it becomes hard to think about what we actually do feel. I have been thinking about all this for a long time because I read other women talking about these kinds of things that I never stopped to think about before. Now that I am seeing so many things differently I just feel more and more rejection of everything I’ve been told is true, because it clearly is not.

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I saw this clip where Ellen was talking to some women in her show then some “sexy” male dancers came out and the other women were cheering and all into it and Ellen was sitting there completely uninterested. 😂 Was she just the only one who wasn’t pretending? Were those women even really into the men or just the fun of it and the sense of belonging? And the men that seem to be the most attractive to women, who I always thought were the most attractive too, are the cute little androgynous looking ones. So are women saying they like all these big “masculine” men pretending extra hard?

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I’ve spent decades thinking about this topic, and written plenty on it, and finally have come to a logic- and science-based conclusion that heterosexuality for women is completely constructed. It doesn’t make sense for us for so many reasons. It doesn’t make sense for an entire group of beings across cultures, eras, races, etc. to choose to hurt themselves. These days, when I encounter het women, I just see this thick, complex mask covering a seething, hurting, broken, insecure inner soul. I understand them and what they do and how they treat other women, even if I don’t like their behaviour or the way they choose not to examine things too closely. I was a little like them on some levels before I chose to self-heal.

I tried to go with bisexual or the whole ‘I’m attracted to the person, not the anatomy’ thing, before finally calling bullshit and starting detoxification in order to find my natural self, which is definitely not with men, and most likely as a non-practising, pro-women, biological AND political lesbian. I really don’t want to create anymore labels, tho. But I do know that I can’t really look a men anymore without wanting to vomit, and I am trying to overcome embarrassment when I think about what I allowed myself to endure when I still shucked men. We are programmed to react to men on many levels, imo (I’m working on a long post on programming/brainwashing, one of my pet interests), and the programming is super-intense and comes at us from all corners and from birth. The few women who manage to escape being sucked in are amazingly strong. Mainstream culture might call them natural lesbians, whereas all other women are straight. I don’t agree with that. I see a strong ‘suggestibility’ factor, a concept that magicians and hypnotists talk about, in addition to so many factors coming at us in our youth.

I think a lot of reasons young women especially, but also women questioning their ‘choices’ later in life have so much angst about whether they are attracted to men or not is that there is so much pressure (in the West) to be attracted to something/anything. We are told over and over that we are sexual beings, which I don’t believe AT ALL. It is the point of our existence. To be fucked. All day, every day. And when not fucking, we still have to try to be fuckable. Going with a dude is so much easier in many ways, even though you sacrifice your natural self in the process and build a thicker and thicker mask in order to endure the exposure. Not going with a dude is so much harder, especially if you are not a breeder, or aren’t with a female partner either. The comment above that men deliberately create a hell that makes going with a man much more attractive – ding ding ding! Yes, it was so much more obvious in the past when we were denied access to education and the workforce – the hell was that a girl/woman was forced to become a public whore, rather than a wife whore. These days, crazily, even though we have access to education and the workforce, it is still quite hard to get by. And then it becomes tempting to just get with a man to solve at least a few problems (safety, economics, traditional male fixit skills, legal power if you run into problems, etc).

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I’ve read all your stuff a while ago when I came across it and everything you wrote is part of all these thoughts I’ve been thinking about. I saw how you said you tried to be bi and have relationships with men too before, until you understood how harmful it is. Also I agree with your stuff saying men aren’t even heterosexual either. They will just fuck anything they can, any hole they can fit their dick in is fine with them. We are just a baby maker and servant for them.

I totally agree too that this has to do with different levels of suggestibility. The mainstream view is just “most people are straight, but some people are born bi or gay and it’s all okay!” It doesn’t take into account anything about how men treat us or biological differences. It’s all like everything is supposedly equal and being with someone of either sex is basically the same, when that is not reality. Then rights of women to have same sex relationships are lumped in with the gay dudes who are often even bigger monsters because they don’t even try to be nice to women to win them over. And they do all this bizarre women torture in the fashion industry for their sick fetishes and make fun of us with drag shows.

You have to have a high degree of suggestibility to fully believe that women would want to be with such monsters and not question any of this. The level of abuse that is normal is absolutely insane. Even what is considered good from them is still just less shitty. I hate all interactions with any of them too at this point. OMG yes I just want to vomit even being forced to interact with them. It is sickening. Pretty much the only interactions I want to have with men ever again are occasionally seeing my male cousins. Even then I look at all of them suspiciously now and wonder if there are some kind of evil thoughts in their heads too.

I didn’t grow up with gender roles or men controlling anything in any way. My mom was the head of the household and my dad was just allowed to live with us as a roommate. I was never that exposed to any other families where men ever had any significant amount of control. No one ever told me that anything wasn’t for girls or anything like that. I’m an only child so everything was always focused on helping me to do whatever to be able to succeed. So it was hard for me to see how shitty men are, it’s kind of in the opposite way of how severely brainwashed women are made to believe that men are so great and they are supposed to be in charge. I was just told everything is equal and it’s all good now and women can do anything, without an understanding of all the barriers in front of us that men put there and why.

I never saw them being violent or controlling or anything like that, I just saw then being very stupid and fairly useless. So I believed the lies that there were better ones out there. They are only better than being terrible though, they are all still fucked up. And the whole culture has gone severely downhill from when I was younger. Men are so much more openly hateful and awful in public. I didn’t experience that growing up. When I really starting reading about how women are treated in public I saw most saying how men acted the most awful when they were a young teenager, but when I was a young teenager I was looking super confident and healthy. They didn’t act awful until my late twenties when I was sickly and became an easy target.

So I did believe a lot of these lies for a long time that things were progressively getting better and a lot of men are good, even though a lot are extremely obviously pieces of shit, they are all individual people. But as I grew up it kept adding up over and over. When I got to teenage years, there was continually another friend getting raped. One of my best friends had even been raped by her own brother. That was very shocking to me then, now of course I understand that’s a common thing. The more I saw the pattern, the harder it got to deny that it’s not all of them. It is all of them, even if literally every one of them isn’t doing something they all have something bad in them. They are not right, there’s something evil there and they have evolved to hurt us.

So why would we been drawn to these monsters that make our lives miserable? We wouldn’t. It makes no fucking sense. I wonder if every woman is honestly just acting that she’s attracted to them? I think of those bedbugs like I was saying and other violently rapey animals too and compare them to humans and it makes me feel like the penis itself is actually a weapon, like it’s made to hurt us. If it feels good that’s our defense. And if we can make ourselves think we like them that’s a defense too. I think it’s true how women say they are literal parasites to us. They trap us and actually physically mutilate us so we can’t get away and then drain out our bodily energy for their purposes so we will reproduce them, feed them, and do whatever other slave labor for them- that’s a fucking parasitic relationship. It definitely is a detoxification to get away from them. It’s extremely painful and confusing.

What is a non-practising, pro-women, biological, and political lesbian? So are you basically saying you don’t date anyone but your loyalty is all with women? I understand what you are saying about all this pressure to force attraction and it’s some big deal if someone isn’t feeling any in any way. I’m very attracted to women though, I would love to have a female partner. I have so much love to give and am basically at peak horniness in my thirties here lol. I don’t have any issues doing whatever I feel like, I’ve “done stuff” with women before, but it does really freak me out being open about being with a woman. If it was actually normalized no one would have to “come out.” I just want to get a girlfriend eventually and when I introduce her to people, they would just be like, “oh hi, nice to meet you” and that’s that. That’s what I’m going to do. Fuck it whatever anyone else thinks.

My mom and I always did all the fix-it stuff anyway and now with YouTube I can learn anything so I’m good on that lol. I have a gun that I’m planning on learning to use for safety and get my cc permit because being a small baby faced lone woman is fucking terrifying. The economic stuff I hope to deal with by getting women together to start a company with me. I’m getting my own businesses going right now that I spent years developing alongside getting my Master’s degree and being sick as hell, finally getting to do them now. Lol so that should take care of all the stuff we supposedly need a man for.

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Thinking more on this, it seems clear that women are not expected to get love from their families of origin ie. from our parents and relatives. We are supposed to get love only as adults, and only from men and from het pairing. I never felt or was treated as if I was a part of the family I was born into, and could only look forward to “having a family someday.” As if we don’t come from families? Or “having a family of my own” as if our original families are not ours. Which of course they aren’t. Girl children, and females and women, are just a burden on their families of origin who put up with and “grow” them into suitable partners for men, and marriage is where we are supposed to find love, security, and all the things our parents deny us bc we aren’t male. To find out that men are mostly incapable of loving us, and that the very idea of “security” in a capitalist patriarchy for that matter is gaslighting and does not exist, is a pretty severe blow bc that was really our only hope.

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Very true everything is set up to drive us to men from how families are set up. Then all other options are looked at as weird and wrong, to have a relationship with a woman or some kind of set up with multiple women helping each other are all such deviations from what is pushed on us. I was never “denied” love from my family but they were severely fucked up and had so many problems. My mom is so disturbed from a lifetime of all the bullshit put on her. I know she loves me more than anything and all she’s done in her life is try to do what she could for me, so when she’s yelling at me and calling me a retard and a bitch I just try not to take it personally. She’s said a bunch of times since I moved back how we need to find me a rich husband lol she even talked about dating and she joined a dating site but says they are all ugly and gross. She wants me to be stable and well off and she understands that’s generally the best way for women to have that. And she’s thinking a bit about some guy being able to help her even though I don’t think she really would want to deal with a man ever again. She didn’t have any interest in them and mostly hates them since she had me and dumped my dad. Hell I thought about finding some well off dude too but it makes me too sick to even think about that much, I couldn’t even handle that. I feel like I might throw up if some dude tried to kiss me, I am not into it at all anymore. Lol I wish I would have gotten a rich dude when I was younger though, I could have gotten myself set up and then dump his ass.

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Of course it’s impossible to know for sure, but I suspect if you were able to experience the love, support, security, nurturing etc. that males get from their families of origin, you wouldn’t think that what you received even qualifies as love. I suspect what males get, from their parents and everyone, is so far above and beyond women’s experience that we cannot even imagine it. Because they are treated like human beings. And women literally cannot even fathom what that’s like.

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All I know is I got all the love my parents had to give anyone. If I was male they wouldn’t have had anything additional left to give me, they were always very broken people and did all they could. But if I was a dude would my mom be screaming at me calling a retarded bitch right now since I had to move back in with her for a bit? I don’t know. She’s not one to favor men and hates them and hates all that crap, but still she’s talked so much about how great my cousin is who lived with her for a few years after I moved out and how “he’s the only one who every appreciated everything she did.” He got her dream job for me too, a lawyer. 🤣 But she does still talk all kinds of shit about him too. So if he was her son instead and had got sick and had trouble because of it, would he be getting yelled at and called names the same way?

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Men and women seem to both hate each other. Anyhow as a man if you want a (gay) male perspective on things you can always come to my blog so I don’t leave too much of a male presence on your blog. I’m down for it.

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It’s very strange. I hate hating anyone. I feel like all this hate has been forced on me and I keep trying to be loving and peaceful and forgiving but that’s just not the world I live in.

Women hate men for all the hateful things they do to us though. Men just hate us for existing. Why? What is your understanding of things why men act like hateful wild animals?

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I think entitlement and socialization to believe we are the man and as such the ultimate authority on life. Then biologically I think we are predisposed to getting angry and violent and then the male sex drive which somehow is easily is influenced by violence. I wish I knew a way to fix all this shit because I know it’s men’s fault.

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The socialization must all come from biology too because it’s the same everywhere. Do you feel like there is something monstrous inside of you that you need to control? Do you feel like something is missing?

Men do act like apes and they need all these ridiculous rules and still can’t act decent. It was always very hard for me to understand why people had so many rules and why they had all these religions telling what to do for every detail of life. But eventually I understood that if men aren’t constantly told what to do they run wild.

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I think she was upset that I was commenting somewhere, but the OP said it was fine. Then she was like “ I don’t want to see his apey face.” I was like wha??? I mean I look weird for sure, but not ape like.

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Well…I do feel horny a lot, no big surprise there I’m sure. But it’s a distraction for real. Then sometimes when I get upset I find I feel angrier than I should be. Otherwise? I feel pretty whole I think. I love being alive and I love life so… Idk. Being male is weird though. I firmly believe the Y chromosome is really fucked up and not getting better. A sense of impending doom…

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I feel horny a lot and distracted by it too. And now I feel fucking angry all the time that I’ve been given an endless list of reasons to feel that way in my own life and all this hell around me. But it’s like men have no self control about any of their emotions and feelings and it seems to mostly alternative between angry and horny or just both at the same time.

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Also since really diving into the biological aspects more I feel strangely insecure when speaking with women in real life because I wonder if even though she is being nice if she thinks I’m just garbage based on what and not who I am. The denial of the individual is bothersome. And I also just feel like… my life … my whole life I’m just some gross evil parasite? I don’t want to be that. I don’t think most men think about this stuff as much as I do.

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I see men saying how they have so many sexual thoughts they can’t help it and women need to understand that and cover up or accept them acting like creeps out whatever but plenty of women have sexual thoughts all the time and we just act like decent human beings and keep it to ourselves if it’s not wanted. So men will say that we just don’t feel sexual urges because we don’t act like depraved perverts, because female sexuality just isn’t depraved and perverted. Unless women have been severely disturbed by too much exposure to men that is.

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I think our bodies are different though . Neither men nor women need sex…but We both may have intense urges my body is actively producing something that it wants to dispell. It’s an added pressure To put it one way. Still I’ve controlled myself all my life. There is no excuse for men losing control.

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Any given woman might be thinking that.. I find it hard to have interactions with men anymore. I used to love talking to everyone and felt comfortable just being cool with everyone. I felt all peace and love hippie vibes. Now when a man talks to me, the first thing that comes to my mind is just hurry up and insult me and fucking go away creep. It’s all been too much at this point. I hate that life is like this and so many men act so disgusting.

Honestly I don’t think most people think about much at all. They seem to be mostly empty headed morons.

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Since I understand the biological aspect more I see men as only half human. The Y chromosome I see it as a parasitic entity both draining men themselves and then draining women and all other life forms. So when men are not being cared for by women in some way they will often just fall apart and die quickly because the parasite drains all their energy and the have no way to replenish it, while women are directly connected to the source of life.

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I don’t like the denial of individuals either. I tried to have hope for men for a long time and so many kept wearing it away day in and day out from the smallest interactions to big things, it’s just constant and from everywhere. It gets tiring.

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Men are lucky that women have not just decided to kill us TBH. I’m grateful because I mean… how can we deny we deserve it? I always just say I have a strong x when ppl say something good about me. It’s the x because I doubt the Y contributes anything positive.

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To touch on attraction…since I’m gay obviously I find men to be sexy. But stepping outside that innate feeling for them we men are objectively ugly compared to women. Even a gay dude can admit that.

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All my thoughts exactly. I’ve become very militant and wonder if women will ever all snap and decide that we’ve had enough of all men. I decided to carry a gun in case I ever seriously need to shoot some dude to defend myself because they act like fucking psychos and I’m afraid not to be armed.

I don’t believe the Y contributes anything good either and it seems some men are able to control whatever evil force is connected to it better than others. It’s a very strange thought to come to terms with that half the members of your species have some sort of evil in them that makes a large percentage of them want to basically hunt you down for existing. I’m glad I’m not a man at least. I can’t imagine what a mindfuck that would be to try to come to terms with whatever all this is if it was something inside me.

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I find women to be so amazingly beautiful. When I see a gorgeous woman I have to consciously tell myself not to stare or act weird. We are all so conscious of the way we look at people because of how uncomfortable we’ve been made to feel by how men looking at us and don’t want to act like that. I’ve seen women saying all these things lots of times. We already know what it’s like to be made constantly uncomfortable.

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Absolutely! I mean when a guy is attractive he is attractive …but there is something odd about the male form in general. A womans body just seems more elegant and like it flows better for lack of a better way of putting it.

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Genetically I wish I wasn’t a man just because it’s so apparent we are shit. I don’t desire to be a woman though either. It’s weird finding out half the species is fucked up… and then the fucked up feeling of knowing you are them on top of that. Ick. May I have better chromosomes in my next life is all I can say. 😂

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Oh my God it is so odd seriously. It’s like men aren’t put together right. When I would look at men I found attractive it’s like they’re cute but something is off. Now I feel kind of sick whenever I have any sexual feelings towards men, I know too much at this point not to. It’s a very weird experience. I see a guy I think is sexy, which is really only a few famous guys who have been seriously fixed up, and any little sexual feelings towards them make me feel like throwing up. When I see women who turn me on I get neurotic feelings thinking that if I find a woman I really want to be with I have to deal with all this awful societal crap. So any sexual thought now comes with a bunch of awful unpleasant feelings and I continually get turned on and then feel bad and weird.

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Yes, it is definitely harder to wake up when you haven’t had the kinds of trauma so many other girls have had early in life. And if you’ve had an abusive mother and a comparatively less abusive father figure/brothers, whatever, it can really make you believe that women are the evil ones. I would hazard a guess that if you could go back and review the ‘footage’ of your early life, you’d notice a lot of male abuse and bullshit that was just the background noise of all girls, that you don’t notice and that is painted as normal. Just as an example, I’ve gone back and watched some of the tv programming I was exposed to as a child, and it fucking blows my mind the anti-woman messaging it sends to everyone about female people. Nobody notices it, but it is there 24/7. I shudder to think about the messaging girls (and women for that matter) get nowadays. Like you said, the more recent “girls/women can do anything” coupled with the more graphic violence against women in mainstream, child-accessible television, the hate speech against women that just wasn’t there even a few decades ago, etc. Very confusing stuff to process.

That whole relative/comparative thing designed to make women question their right to complain is also a mindfuck. You see some males doing horrible things to other women and possibly even yourself, and then your bar for acceptable male behaviour lowers and lowers and lowers. I can’t tell you have many males have said to me when I’ve dared to confront them: “at least I don’t…[insert male abuse here] you” to show how amazing they are and how much of a bitch I am. I’ve noticed it’s a similar tactic to shut uppity white women in the West up when they talk about their oppression: “at least you’re not [insert worse lady-oppression here]”.

Also, we’ve been told by Real Male Scientists, that there is an evolutionary reason males go for young females – it’s all about looking for fertile females. I call bullshit on that. I think males prefer younger females because they are the easiest to control. The older and more experienced women get, the more they see through everything, the more comparisons they can make, the more they may complain and hold men responsible. A naive and inexperienced female is very attractive to most men. And females are easier to control than males and they have three holes to accommodate dicks rather than two – heterosexuality is a scam. Male-female attraction is a marketing tool to sell oppression, not a scientific fact.

Okay, I’m just babbling now, so I need to stop.

Thanks for your candid post – you’ve inspired lots of commentary, which is excellent. Women need to talk more about this topic. It is at the centre of our oppression.

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I wouldn’t say my mother was abusive, until now she kind of is living with her at the moment. She was always a difficult person to deal with but never acted anywhere near this bad before. She always did everything for me and got me presents and took me places. We were really poor when I was very young and she first left my dad and moved up here, then after a while she let me dad move in with us as roommate because he was too dumb to take care of himself and she started getting good jobs and so we were okay when I was older. All the poverty throughout a lot of her life and having to work so hard to get anywhere coupled with a life time of all the male bullshit has really disturbed her and made her sick in a lot of ways.

My dad was a fairly decent person, he was a crazy old hippie and that last thing he wanted was any control over anyone. But he was also kind of useless to do anything and my mom got stuck with all the responsibility while all he could handle is doing his crappy little job and that’s about it. A few years after my mom stopped taking care of him and he was living in his own in a little apartment and I was living with my ex, his health declined I stopped hearing from him and then he killed himself after a while.

So in my life I wasn’t getting exposed personally to any sex roles or female oppression directly and most of the families I knew were either totally female headed or the guy was still playing a lesser part. So I always saw women as the leaders. But definitely the reason my mom always had to work so hard for so little money and too so long to make any advancement was all the systemic oppression of women and mothers who start out poor without a man able to back them up.

When I got to be a teenager it was so shocking to me all my friends who got raped. I had no idea at first how it’s such a common everyday thing for men to be rapey pieces of shit and that no one cares to do anything about it. I was so naive that after my best friend was raped by some dude she knew at a party that I wanted her to go to the police. Now I’m thankful she already understood that the police wouldn’t have given a shit since they would have just made things worse.

But I have watched the TV shows and movies I grew up watching, and now as an adult with a large amount of knowledge on the ways that men terrorize and oppress I feel sick thinking how extremely bad it was. Like holy shit, Married with Children, every single thing about it is a nightmare and I was watching this when I was so young. All the shows were pretty awful in some way. And I was being told simultaneously all these messages that “everything is great now” women were “oppressed” in the past and maybe there’s some lingering “discrimination” left but it’s going away and it’s all good.

No one ever said the word “slave” anywhere until I read radfem stuff. It’s all so vague and downplayed all the horrific things that have been done. Even when I was in college literally there learning about all the horrific shit, they downplay everything and they make it like everything is isolated, that only these specific men do this or that. It’s hard to put together all the pieces when you only have a bunch of separate pieces everywhere.

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The reason men go for young women is absolutely because they are easiest to get and control. Physically they are attracted to any women. There’s even dudes that are specifically into way older women.

People significantly older than me tend to think I’m a teenager or about 20 so now when older men look at me sexually or try to say anything, I’m always thinking “does this dude think I’m a teenager?” And the thought makes me really sick.

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The comparison that if someone else has is worse you can’t complain or try to make things better is so pathetic, I constantly think “do people seriously have this low standards.” This is already a nightmare and instead of thinking all the things we could do to improve they are thinking, well at least you’re not in a war zone getting dragged of to a rape camp, so life is awesome. 😃

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lol – make sure to TM it. Makes it all official-like 😉

The great thing about being an RMS (or any other Real Male Expert) is that men don’t even need to be degreed or experienced in order to claim the title. It is part of the privilege of mansplaining. I always love it when these types try to explain things to women who are degreed/experienced in the field they are talking about. This happens to me constantly, and I hate having to pull my metaphorical dick out. So tedious and energy and time wasting.

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I assume you’re talking about Youtube, so do as follows:

Below the video, you’ll see the Share button. Hit that. The first option is Embed. Hit that. You’ll get a popup with some code that starts with <iframe . Copy all the code, paste it into the text editor of your WP post. WP will alter the code to suit its configuration. Then you're good to go.

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Within the post you’re editing, you’ll see the icon for ‘link’ in your toolbar at the top. Highlight the text you want to serve as the clickable link. A popup with show up. Insert the url OR you can link to one of your old posts (you can see an option to do that in the popup). You can also choose whether clicking the link will open up a new window.

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It seems to be just a waste of time talking to most of them at all. They are too dumb and full of themselves to listen. It just wears out our energy and gets no where. This whole world they’ve created seems to be all made as tedious as possible too so we get worn out from their endless nonsense.

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Whether they realize it or not, that is exactly what it does. I think for a lot of them, they see conversation, especially with women, as an opportunity for sparring with eventual winning/conquering. Everything is war for them. I used to bother. I try to not have conversations with men anymore unless I can’t avoid it. Too exhausting and annoying.

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Same here I greatly limit my interactions with men now. It’s very exhausting. Since I stopped worrying about being nice it’s made my life better already. Why be nice to them to set myself up for some kind of shit? If a male neighbor or whatever would talk to me before I would used to be polite and make some small talk, now I don’t even bother.

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I’m surprised at all the new people who came and liked this post already, even a couple dudes, and a few new people followed from it. I thought people reading this stuff would mostly be other women writing about this kind of stuff too and finding me from other blogs I comment on, but there’s people with all different blogs who are reading it.

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Most girls are raised to accommodate others (aka men) before taking care of themselves. To not do so ends up getting you labels of ‘selfish’ or at worst, ‘bitch’. I shudder to think of all the energy I wasted dealing politely with men who just couldn’t/wouldn’t shut the fuck up. My life, not perfect by a long shot, is still infinitely better now that I don’t bother talking to or even looking at them unless there is a specific purpose I need to fulfill.

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So what is everyone’s thoughts on the implications of all this? If this is true and sexual response in women just developed as a defensive reaction to men and pre-human males hurting our ancestors, does that make it inherently bad somehow because it’s something created by evil? Does it make you feel bad? If this is the case that means that even if no men are involved with masturbation or sex with women, it’s still due their rapeyness that we even have sexual feelings. Do you think that matters at this point or that it doesn’t matter how our biology got this way in terms of how you feel about your sexuality?
I think mainly it doesn’t matter how things got this way with how I feel about myself now, I’m in this body with the feelings I have regardless of any processes how it was created and if I’m using those feelings in ways that feel good and don’t hurt me I don’t think it’s bad. But the thought of sexuality itself being something bad does bother me a bit too. It’s in the back of my mind now and when I get turned on, the thought will sometimes come out wondering if it really comes from just a defense against being hurt.

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I wanted to reply more to your comment above, about whether your mom would still be calling you a retard and a bitch if you were male. Of course she wouldn’t! That is an excellent example really, bc it shows that in every instance, in every context, things are always worse for women than they are for men. With name calling, anything a woman could call a man would never be as degrading as what anyone can call a woman. That kind of degrading language does not even exist when it comes to insulting men. Would she really call him a bitch? Does anyone ever call men bitches except in humor and irony, and to compare them to women? No they do not. Plus, a woman insulting a man is pretty ineffectual. What man really even cares what any woman thinks? All of this is part of what I’m talking about.

And I’m not suggesting that people who are bad parents would automatically know how to be good parents if they happen to have a male child and not a female child. I am only saying that the default is to treat males as if they are human, where the default is to treat females as if we are vermin. If a parent does not automatically give respect to their children, for example, only a male as any way to earn that respect. Not all males, perhaps, but certainly only males. Women have no way to earn respect from anyone who does not want to freely give it. I’m a fucking lawyer and I never got an ounce of respect from anyone, which means that for me, respect cannot be earned. Not through achievement, or intelligence, or discipline or effort or besting others or being respectable or responsible or giving back to the community, all of which I proved objectively by doing it. And that is exactly what you are speculating about with your cousin, who was somehow able to earn your mother’s respect through achievement and was not degraded for needing and accepting help. Plus she likely respected him already bc he was male. You put yourself through graduate school and you still have someone telling you you’re a retard. A retard! Jeez, that’s some serious hyperbole there, you are hardly retarded, obviously.

Anyway, my point is that this is what only males can get from their families. Not all males, if their families are super fucked up, but only men can get respect and love from their families of origin. Men as a class don’t even need to get married bc they have friends and relatives of both sexes lined up around the block to take care of their stupid asses, and the default is for everyone to treat them like human beings all the time.

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I would love so much for you to tell my mom about your experiences as a lawyer. 🤣 She always wanted me to be a lawyer and talked so much about it. I would have done even worse than you because I’m more sensitive and would have had a harder time talking to strangers in public. Even if the world was completely different, there’s no accounting at all for my personality or my interests in her saying I should be a lawyer.

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Honestly only poor white trash think that being a lawyer is the same thing as winning the lottery. Rich people whose family wealth is built on a generational law practice need the new generations (ie their own kids) to get their law degrees so they can keep the family business going, to keep the money in the family, that’s what that is about. Or their family’s money has nothing to do with the law and they just practice law as a way to “give back to the community” to make themselves and their families seem benevolent, like the fucking Kennedys. But what rich person is actually benevolent? First generation attorneys have no power and often don’t even make that much money. A lot of them never even practice law. There is probably no way to explain this to your mom that will change her mind about what she already thinks about lawyers. She would just say it was my fault, which of course it partly was, bc I was chronically ill and didn’t know it, and autistic, and white trash, and female, but therein lies the rub. There is nothing I could’ve done to succeed.

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Wow I just started crying when I was in the shower thinking about what you said earlier and how completely unaccepted I feel and have always felt in every single way, by my mom who is the only person I really have in my life and the only one I have to be able to depend on for anything and by my whole entire society. Like vermin is probably a good way to put it. I feel less and less able to be “normal” and acceptable all the time and even women who are able to fit in are still already garbage like you’re saying and the words people can call us are made just to hurt us specifically.

My mom treats me like everything I do, say, think, and feel is wrong. I shut down a long time ago trying to communicate with her because I just can’t. Even the most unimportant trivial things she has to tell me all about how wrong I am. She says good stuff too, but I’m so overwhelmed by all the awful things she’s continually saying to me that it makes me feel like shit. When I hear her talking on the phone to someone saying how great I am it’s fucking weird because then later she’ll be calling me a retard.

I’m so far gone from any ability to fit in with this shitty society anymore at this point and I never really did. I’ve always felt like a freak my whole life. I mostly just accepted it that I was always going to be weird and just embraced it because I can’t do anything about it anyway. When I was only a few years old and I found out that meat was animals and wouldn’t eat it, that set the course for my entire life of never being able to be normal. My parents didn’t care and just fed me whatever I wanted, though they didn’t really know how to prepare that good of a diet without meat and I had to learn everything on my own. But this inability to eat animals already made me so different from everyone before I was old enough to be really interacting with people, before I even started school I was already a freak to this society. People couldn’t ever understand it and would constantly question me about it and act like it is so strange.

I feel so uncomfortable about all the questioning and still don’t know what to say, I don’t know why anyone would want to eat animals. I don’t judge anyone for eating meat and I need it to feed it to my cats, but I don’t believe humans naturally eat meat. And when I got older and kept learning more about the meat industry and all animal industries I saw how evil it is and I feel so sickened by these horrible men enslaving all these animals and torturing then their whole lives. Obviously they are raping and beating them too because that’s what men always do. The issue is way more than just eating meat or not, it’s a system of torture.

But my mom is unable to understand anything about how I feel about this and she became mostly vegetarian in recent years and views it mainly just as a heathy lifestyle thing. So she will continually bring it up that I’m vegan and she stopped eating meat to people we just met and then I’m put on the spot having to give some explanation to their questions about why. I hate it so much, it makes me feel terrible. It’s a source of lifelong deep seated pain and rejection of my deepest beliefs, feelings, and instincts and a reminder of the cruel horrible torture systems we live in that most people can’t even see, it’s not a trendy diet or something. I don’t want to talk about it with strangers who probably wouldn’t even understand anything I said if I did try to explain it. Even that which she accepts about me and thinks is good she’s totally unable to understand my thoughts and feelings.

And for most things it’s just a constant barrage of how wrong I am about every single thing possible big and small. I feel like the way she always pushed it on me to date men and not do anything people might think is gay was like some conversation therapy basically. She said recently when the Spice Girls came on the radio that when I had to do a report on a music group in middle school I wanted to do it on the Spice Girls but she thought people might think that was gay and got me to do it on a boy band so I did it on Hanson. Like what the fuck seriously? I was so little I didn’t even really have sexuality yet and I’m already getting pushed to being with a dude. Why would anyone possibly think anything about sexuality at all about a preteen girl doing a report on the Spice Girls?

Then when I was a bit older she used to spy on my phone conversations, I still have absolutely no trust in her from all the spying, and she heard me talking to my friend say something that I liked a girl. So she gave me this big long talk about how she can tell I’m not gay blah blah blah, I read something a couple years ago that a woman wrote about attraction to men not being real and one of the things she wrote about was this doctor dude trying to convert a woman who said she was lesbian and wouldn’t fuck her husband and he was telling her the same shit how he could tell how she’s not gay by looking at her and she really wants to fuck her husband. Then he had her have sex with the dude and she kept throwing up from it until she eventually ran away. It was this constant fear of hers that she put on me that I wouldn’t just be straight and go get a dude.

I understand that she’s always been very afraid of me not being accepted because she knows how awful the world is, but even if it’s coming from a place of love it’s still horrible and confusing. All these stupid things like buying a few clothes here and there from the men’s section, even though my overall look is very “feminine” anyway, are like some thing she has to comment on like, “oh people might think you’re gay.” She continually makes all these weird comments like she said how a neighbor that she talks to is so super gay, I don’t know whatever words she used but it was like that. The neighbor is openly lesbian and fits a lot of the stereotypes, like a “masculine” woman. But I guess since I’m a cute little “feminine” woman I better hop on that dick. Fuck whatever I’m a lesbian, that’s the truth I tried to be “normal” and I don’t want anything to do with gross awful pervy men, I’m tired of being made to feel bad about everything about myself that I can’t change anyway.

She would always continually say stuff about my looks too. Like one time I gained a bit of weight she said I looked like I was pregnant with twins. I’ve never actually been fat in my life and she is fat! Wtf? I said how crazy it was for my already beautiful cousin to get plastic surgeries and even a chin implant and my mom said how our family has receding chins and I have one too! It made me feel so bad and that’s bullshit my face is perfect. I have a very minor twitch on the right side of my forehead sometimes when I get stressed and tense and my mom literally yelled at me before to stop it as if I can somehow stop my muscles spasming because she yells at me to stop.

To hear her talk to me it’s like I’m some fucking idiot troll. I don’t get it. I’m objectively highly intelligent, gorgeous, and likeable, not just my opinions all this shit has been proven my whole life. And I managed to use my intelligence to get advanced degrees like I was always told I was supposed to by my mom and all the messages from society, but when I got so sick and hurt I needed help, suddenly I’m just a fucking loser for it? What the hell? I’m so hurt in everyway, I hate this bullshit society and want out. I’m tired of being a freak. And talking about anything truthful makes you sound like a raving maniac to brainwashed people.

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The whole nature of everything too is so counter to anything I’m able to do. It’s all built for men’s ridiculous competitions that don’t actually help anyone. I have no ability to understand all this competition stuff or do it, it’s completely contrary to my nature. I have very high abilities but only if I’m in an environment where I’m not going to be worn down by all this ridiculous bullshit. I’m just unable to fit in with anything that is expected of me in this society no matter what. It doesn’t matter what the consequences are to anything because I just can’t help it. I have no choice but to do my best to work on the edge of the system where I can be in peace and actually be able to function and just do whatever my instincts tell me is right.

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We should probably all cry our eyes out at least once over being considered vermin! It’s fucking heartbreaking. I am so sad about what has happened to me, that I got sick and now everyone thinks I’m a failure and a burden, even more than they did before, and that I was unable to save myself, even as I saw what was happening on some level since I was a young child. I knew my family wouldn’t be there for me and I was right, but I wasn’t able to do anything with that information bc there really is nothing women can do. That’s why we have a permanent class of prostituted women, innit. It’s not a personal failing on our parts, its a permanent fixture of patriarchal culture. And now that so many women are getting sick, holy shit. What the fuck are we supposed to do. I’m sad for myself, and for you, and for all of us. My heart is completely broken. Dworkin named her memoir “Heartbreak” and I think that’s what she was talking about. Learning what women’s place is in society is completely heartbreaking. We know that we aren’t vermin but there is no way to redeem ourselves or each other.

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I feel more heartbroken all the time and the way that we are told so much great stuff growing up makes it even worse in a way because we have no idea of reality. We just get told “yay equality!” Then we don’t know anything about how anything actually works.

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I’ve been thinking more about how I’ve been punished my whole life for not eating meat since until recently there were not vegetarian options most places, whether it was someone’s house or some place or going to some event. There was always such a limited amount of food no matter where I went and I ate dairy and eggs for most of my life until recent years so it would have been so much worse if I didn’t, there would have really been no food to eat. I mostly had to make sure I brought food or ate before or just accepted not eating. When I went to one of my cousin’s wedding there was not one thing there I could eat, I was very surprised because I thought I would definitely be able to snack on some cheese and crackers and fruit or something, but it was literally every single thing was meat. So I just drank wine and ate cake and that was it.

People have always acted like I was a freak for not eating meat wherever they find that out and will ask me a bunch of stupid questions and then say all about how great meat is and they love it. It’s so insulting how people act like someone vegetarian and vegan is the one being annoying, I don’t like to talk to people I don’t know well about it at all and would never bring it up to strangers because people have been rude assholes about it my whole life while I just try to eat my veggies in peace and hope they shut up. But there was never anything I could do about it because I can’t choose to be any different than how I am, it wasn’t any decision I made.

Also I was making some voice recordings last night for this app Robson that pays about $22 for an hour of recording phrases to be used for voice recognition programs, like Alexa and Siri, while I’m listening to my cute little baby voice checking if it’s recording right I’m thinking how could I have ever thought I could be taken seriously in this bullshit system? I see a lot that even women will be criticizing women for having “sexy baby voice.” I hate that so much, like people can just change their whole voice and speech because people say some women sound babyish? Even if we can why should we, people just need to shut the fuck up and listen to what someone is saying and stop criticizing everything about how women communicate.

And then I look in the mirror at my baby face thinking there’s just no way in hell I’d ever be taken seriously by the scientific community or whatever no matter what. People think I’m a teenager still because of how I look. I can’t change how I look and sound and don’t want to, I’m already perfect how I am naturally and it’s not my fucking problem how anyone perceives me. But I would be judged and belittled instantly no matter what I do by all these standards men have set. There’s no way to dress that would make me acceptable looking enough and I sure as hell wouldn’t be binding my breasts and feet with the ridiculous bras and heels women are supposed to wear and I don’t even have any idea what I would wear if I was supposed to wear something “professional.” I’m small and my breasts are big and bounce a lot and I have a big butt and hips and thighs, anything I wear is still going to look sexual to people. Plus I’m uncomfortable in most clothes and have to wear something comfy, which is going to be something mostly form fitting and stretchy that I can easily move in and doesn’t bunch up. Men would just make perverted comments about me and act like perverts towards me regardless of what I do. Then it would be about me supposedly not looking right. There’s so much more to everything that just being intelligent and able to do stuff. I feel like everything about myself is unacceptable in some way and it doesn’t matter what I do because my very existence is what’s unacceptable.

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Dworkin said how after she really understood what our place is and how we’re broken she understood why women act the way that they do and she saw all women as her sister, so she saw her mom as her sister too and understood their relationship better because we’ve all been broken this way together.

I’m sure that’s really awkwardly paraphrased, do you remember what that’s from? But when my mom is yelling at me and calling me names, I think about that.

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I was just thinking more about all the names to hurt women that don’t exist for men and the only times someone can call a man a worse word than a woman is when they are saying he’s like a woman, typically by being gay and taking a “woman’s place” by being fucked by a dude. If a guy is gay someone can call him a faggot or they could could call him a sissy or whatever too and these words are saying how he’s like a woman and that’s the worst thing you can be. There are no female equivalent because we’re already lowly. A women will just be sexually degraded with the same normal stuff for women for being lesbian but there’s no female equivalent to calling a dude a faggot.

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When I ovulate, I sometimes notice women’s, beauty too. Glimpsed a clip of Sharon in Basic Instinct& it was 💔 heart-stopping. Her face was mathematically perfect& it was the 1st time I thought: hey , Getting between those fine legs might not be bad. It was far from the 1st time I felt intensely drawn to females however- just not in that “down &dirty” sense

Sexual attraction =reproductive match. Plain & simple. Kissing is a chemical test & the positive response is arousing in the mechanics of lady boners : it goes directly to the abdomen, then genitals& flows

In some species; same sex couples poach eggs from other birds to raise

Around ovulation & menstruation it,s clear as day that it,s All reproductive.👨🏿‍🦼
I get disgusting thoughts , like pregnancy sex

Goodness, it was always simple for me with my autism. When I was teamed up with a hot bodied dude in uni: instinct told me to wheel my chair away *& join a team of girls. Because it,s a protector that must get me away from temptation. I never saw them as even remotely human – just a meat market
So there was no significant change with radical thought: when I see something stimulating in a be-dicked : it,s there as pleasure For Me. Dude can fry after. It’s a 1 way street

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It is energy that must be either dispelled , or pleasurably ridden without a crest. The latter doesn’t give u that blue, downer drop off point of your hormones jumping up& down

I didn’t buy into romance as I watched my Ma use & toss blokes all my life. She ditched 1 on cancer, 1 @fter he built her a mailbox(she didn’t need him anymore🙅🏿‍♀️🙍🏾‍♀️🧖🏿‍♀️

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Aussie research showed that orgasming within 5 min.window of dicking ,increases fertility. So it;s just strategy out of many in the parasitical arsenal. They dont have to hold u down every time that way -(must be a drag to the runts). Same w.beauty : we;re aesthetic beings. TYP said that Goo chemically programs u to WANT to get humped again

RadicalKitten pointed out that members;re shaped for rubbing alongside vulva universally,while the same match internally is a raffle spin. Imagine if ingesting crack dependency on a myriad of factors ,like nose shape ,injuries from previous usage, rhythm, speed of ingestion, disconnection from every facet of your body etc….<

It broke my heart tO realise that my Ma used me as a life aid from age 5 – that;s why she got me into the English ,prestigious school. I tried to love her up until the end. ,but she wont even let me see my doggie on my terms

I sport unusual good looks: a lot like Scarlett Johanson, but leggier. Not a classic beauty & only works face-on. In profile:like a squashed 🐠

What guts me about PiV – is peaking my curiosity. screw society for doing that to me🧞‍♀️

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Oubourous eating its own tail =contemplation on whether your ex partnership came w.easy life

…cos that easy life forBOTH couldn’t exist in a patriarchy, &without patriarchy he wouldn’t have access to you. In fact -he wouldn’t exist

It;s like the time loop paradox.

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Moreover:

If not for the Herculean efforts of YOUR kind, & not HIS!, layering down blankets>steering away from natural circumstances=

You;d have had 7 screaming kids , while he;d be beat up for his femininity.&your mu wouldn’t have her house – offering You an out. …& power corrupts fast

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I don’t know if I’ve ever even seen a “hot bodied guy” though. They just kind of look weird to me. What I always liked was the feeling of being wanted so much and I think that’s what really attracted me. I was into ones that looked and acted as much like a woman as possible without actually trying to be a woman. You’re saying you are physically attracted them though? I keep seeing women saying they are not attracted to them at all, even women who are saying they are totally straight and getting with men. There’s not even any “reproductive scanning.”

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I definitely never saw men as some huge temptation from looking at them. 🤷 They look weird. I could get into being with a dude if he’s really sweet to me and makes me feel good mentally and then touches me nice physically. But I’ve never ever looked at a man and was that impressed with his looks. Sometimes I look at a beautiful woman and I’m just totally blown away by how gorgeous she is though.

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And the other women who commented are saying they don’t even feel any attraction to them either. Only the guy who commented said he sees men as sexy. So we generally don’t seem to be drawn to them at all, even for just checking for fit genes like you’re saying.

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We’re indoctrinated from the time we’re born to be in relationships with and have sex with men. Just think, how many times have you actually seen representations of women existing without men? Movies, books, shows all depict women as these little satellites orbiting around men be they lovers, teachers, fathers, whoever. Think about popular depictions of “romance”– they often frame stalking, violent, controlling, and entitled behaviors as desirable. We’re taught from birth that we are not whole, we are only made valuable by our relationships to men. We’re also taught that any bodily sensation associated with a feeling or action is natural, thus when we have involuntary responses to physical or visual stimuli, we wrongly attribute this to “attraction”. Women’s relationships are extremely programmed at every level.

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Definitely. It is so hard to untangle what is even real from what is the programming. Women don’t even seem to be attracted to men even on a purely physical level from what I’ve heard from lots of women. I’ve never in my life looked at a man and was tempted by his looks. When I was with a guy who was treating me nicely and touching me in ways that felt good, I enjoyed his companionship and the pleasure he brought me. But would I have ever decided to be with a man at all without all this programming and societal pressure? I don’t think so and I don’t think many women would, if any really would. I think not only is the romantic aspect of relationship highly constructed, and like you said it’s just mainly negative behavior repackaged, but I think the sexual attraction is constructed as well considering how many women don’t find men sexy and how many find them actually repulsive. A lot of women who previously had interest in them lose that interest the more they learn about men’s nature as well. It seems it’s mostly men that are attracted to other men.

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There Is a mountain-pile of evidence behind the Reproductive Scanning view:

esp. from women , who’ve been pregnant, or taken hormonal BC.

I trust my perception of that – as I’m an impaired social absorber. I ‘m so immune to men-as-people brainwash -I don’t even find cute male infants worthy of breathing. What I experience is 102% physical & very dependent on menstrual fluctuation

I usually zero in on a single worthwhile feature – like a voice, or hand-shape. typically go ‘meh’, or ‘nay’ @ the rest of the pitiful form .

So it’s as if I ‘m hedging bets:
Get a bit from this one & that one -SOMEbody’s goo is bound to get thru>I better narrow down the shortlist of those possessing various nice features. When there’s 1 in a blue moon, who’s blessed with more than 1 , or 2 – it gives me a whopping amount of pleasure. If there’s a head – to – toe unicorn ~i’m up a tree, in the Garden of Eden , getting my feet rubbed|. if this individual behaves like ya typical numnut – it creates a schizophrenic feeling

I ‘ve been impressed by feminine beauty for as long as I had eyes, but my body heat doesn’t normally go up from it. Intense reproductive ‘attraction’ can make you spontaneously ovulate

There’re also mums, who discover their inclination towards women after they’ve reproduced to their contentment & that the hetero pull was clearly about that only

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After you shared your dental horror story:

I was stuck in a room w. a handsome dentist& felt panicky +vomity +something else indescribably negative &forceful. “here’s this stinking Y-possessor, with sharp tools, who HAS DRUGGED ME, & whom I mentally want to scalp …yet my eggs’re running away with themselves regardless

it’s like being force-fed chocolate + mouldy slime simulateneously

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Orgasm =dispelling of all bodily energy. Clitoral nerve endings =reset button

it’s not much different to laughter, tears, fun exercise, end of pain , or stress.

There’s nothing specifically sexual about it. I routinely fiddle with myself purely to space out, or focus, or go to sleep , with nary an erotic thought

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LOLz, i miss my bum from the pre-healthy dieting age. I’m now a stick-insect – makes me face & hands look great, but i frighten myself with every shower (my place has BIG mirrors)

I’m crearly not any kind of pear, or hourglass naturally / I have a lean streamlined shape – like that of a runner. i’d rock 20s outfits !!

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Ok, but most of the women I’ve talked to about this are saying the exact opposite, that they aren’t experiencing any physical attraction and it’s only social things. So from the conversations I’ve had with women and things I’ve read different women saying, it seems not many experience anything like you’re saying, there’s no reproductive scanning going on. I never felt turned on by men’s looks either. I felt turned on by a guy treating me well and making me feel good and then touching me nicely. Even thinking he was cute, I never just got turned on looking at a guy.

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So from what I’m hearing from most women out of the ones I’ve heard from, it’s usually nothing at all to do with any physical attraction that draws women to men. It’s only a need for love, companionship, acceptance, all that stuff. Since men are terrible at giving those things it usually ends up disappointing.

I don’t think hardly any women would be interested in them for anything purely physical.

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I believe that you’re looking @ a certain group of women. I could write you a Phd on the reproductive interest. I’ve formed this opinion after speaking to many + adding up the medical aspects over decades

Think about it:

Pregnancy is not optional out in nature & it’s the biggest investment for bi-pedals. The only thing you can do is try & choose to be impregnated by whichever humper maximises chances of a more worthwhile baby. Once you ;re already gestating – the subsequent humpers’re locked out of the pool

Do you get insta-turned on by anybody?

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Come chat to me over @ mine ”nooné’s visited me for a while!…

I dunno what the proportion of the purely social Vs pro-creative cohort is : but I don’t believe the latter to be tiny& exceptional

i’m always sceptical of the ” it’s all in your head’ feminist explanations – that’s how I waded out of genderism

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The women in feminist groups are a self selected group that might be less attracted to men overall, even women who are with men or have been with men, clearly none of us are enthralled with them in a positive way. But I’ve seen women talking about this other places too, like the other day I saw a woman asking if it’s true that men are turned on visually while women are turned on by touch, because she isn’t turned on by looking at men. The people responding were saying the same thing as her, the women said they are not turned on looking at men, the men responding said they are turned on looking at women. And of course predictably some men said some gross stuff. I’ve seen this kind of thing lots of places, but they claim that women are just “not visual” like men which is ridiculous, we care about decorating our spaces and creating beautiful art but just don’t care visually about men even though we’re supposedly attracted to them? I think most women just aren’t that attracted to men and be with them for social reasons. I’ve never been instantly turned on looking at a man, I’ve gotten turned on by them being nice and touching me nicely. I’ve only instantly felt turned on by women.

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So I’ve been thinking about this for a while after reading things saying that heterosexually isn’t even real and it’s brainwashing and looking around at how much brainwashing and pressure there is for women to be with men, I’ve never understood it as it is how do many women manage to pair up with men considering what the average dude looks and acts like. When I was dating men, I wasn’t pretending but I do feel like I was exaggerating how much I was ever into them. I never found them that attractive even when I thought a guy was cute, it was still just like oh he’s okay looking. I’ve never been turned on just by looking at a man. I keep seeing this more and more that women are saying they don’t have any attraction to them so I don’t think it’s some small percentage. Since there’s not much physical appeal in them, the social aspects are extremely important, lots of women are drawn to men that make them feel wanted and appreciated and safe, that’s the part that’s a huge turn on.

My thoughts are that due to so much raping a huge percentage of women never developed any attraction towards men. Look at other species where the males work to impress the females and how beautiful they become, like peacocks, where the females select the best most attractive males to mate with. In humans, men have collectively become so ugly due to so much rape. In species where the males become excessively rapey, the males don’t become beautiful and they develop rape adaptations instead and that’s what happened with humans, the men just became these big muscular monsters built for raping. That’s what ugliness in males is, the result of not being picked by women but forcing some to replicate their genes. They didn’t do enough of trying to impress us so now they are just gross and repellent. Since they’ve already evolved this way they know they have to keep forcing women and pressuring women to be with them and always have a desperate underclass because otherwise very few women would be interested and only very few men would be picked.

Looking at a very ugly man now just makes me think about how much raping his ancestors did to create him and that he carries those exceptionally rapey genes in him. Women are called superficial for rejecting ugly men though as if it has no real importance what they look like. An unattractive man isn’t going to be automatically a piece of shit while an attractive one will be great, but there is a lot of genetic importance in the propensity for rape that an ugly dude is likely to carry in his genes. It signals danger subconsciously when we see these big ugly brute looking men because we see the rapeyness of their male ancestors in their creation.

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I think a lot more is “all in our head” than we think. People want to be accepted and are very suggestible. It’s very hard to even figure out what we actually want due to so many people trying to tell us what we want and any discussion outside of mainstream acceptability is so taboo.

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Bio-interest is fleeting . It’s only designed to get you as far as a coupla sessions of humping @most: totalling mere mins, maybe half hour cumulatively. Womyn used to get pregnant off the bat – now a year of trying is held to be in normal range

it”s the TENSION i was talking about. Why is Dirty Dancing sexy? TENSION

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Lol maybe but lots of women are saying they don’t feel attracted looking at men but enjoy it if things get started and all that. That the attraction is the way they make you feel good. So I’m wondering how many women are even drawn to men physically at all? I keep seeing this a lot recently with women saying that they aren’t.

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darl,. we’re going round in circles here

To me it’s crystal clear:

Since you DO feel that visceral “let’s get those ice-cubes on the nipples” pull towards your own kind, but noT the stinky kind ~it’s legit ~you have a point of comparison/ You sound properly up there on the Kinsey ladder of being Sapphic.

Since I DO get that pull (it can be thru sound, or pheromones, but is IS instant ) towards the stinky kind .

I mean , you could get it on with an animal & enjoy once things got going – but you’d have to be bestial to drive yourself WITHOUT PRIOR KNOWLEDGE

I’m A mirror image of you in all this:

Incapable of soul-connection like you did with a Stinky. Won’t deal with dick. Can’t even find my own opening sometimes.

Yet do feel the instinct

Weird, ah?.,? :-)(

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To be clear:

I don’t hold any of those non-instinctual lasses to be hetero-reproductive either. evolution’s half-assed -it doesn’t work for everyone, or with the same intensity

I 1st felt it when I was 14 -& knew what it was ,light as day ! I dunno why anyone’d ever be confused, but then again – that’s the lot of socially normal. :<)

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Fuck I don’t know I’ve never been normal before.. I mostly embraced being different but I tried to be normal enough that I wasn’t a complete weirdo and that didn’t even work. I’m just more different from everyone else all the time now as I get older.

With this attraction stuff.. I don’t know we are exposed to so much brainwashing and pressure to get with a man it’s hard to untangle all the stuff put into us from what I actually feel. I never felt what you are saying towards men where I was just turned on looking at them right away. But being with a guy I liked who was treating me well I was able to feel turned on and then I would notice stuff like you’re saying, like I would get turned on by my ex’s cute hands, but I didn’t think that stuff until he gained my attraction by his behavior basically. Same with male actors, I might think he’s cute just looking at him but I’m not going to get turned on until I see him doing stuff and romancing the lady he’s acting with and all that. And when I would fantasize about actors I’m watching it would be me in the middle of what’s happening with the guy and the girl, not just me with the guy lol.

But I do feel more immediate attraction to women that I’ve never felt for men the same way. Like there was this ridiculously gorgeous woman who was just one of the most beautiful people I’d ever seen at the grocery store with her dude and she was so little and cute with dark red hair in a bunch of braids and a hip hop kind of style and I started fantasizing about telling her she should ditch her dude and I’ll ditch mine and let’s run away together. Lol definitely have never had those kinds of thoughts about a man before.

And when I look back I see all the times I’ve been pushed into liking men more than I really did. It’s not like I didn’t like them at all, I wasn’t pretending or anything but it does feel kind of exaggerated. And there were lots of times where I knew I was supposed to like men more so I tried to do that in a million little things. All that stuff I already said on here and then all different other things here and there. Another thing that came to mind was my aunt asking who is my favorite character on that 70s show when we were taking about the show and I said Donna, then I thought about it for a second and I felt like I was supposed to be saying a guy I liked, even though it wasn’t anything specifically sexual/romantic, it was just what’s your favorite character from this show- but I had already been so conditioned by then to know I was supposed to like guys so much and I was just ehh towards them. Then I added that I like Hyde too so I could add on one of the guy characters.

It was made clear to me in so many ways that it’s unacceptable to express my actual feelings if they go too much against what’s acceptable and that’s such a huge thing that goes against what society accepts. So I did some things before with some of my friends in private and didn’t think much of it but I knew that being public about liking women is a whole different thing that people don’t like if you don’t choose a man. So I figured I would just see if there was a dude I liked first because that seemed a lot easier honestly and it’s not hard at all to get lots of men interested so it seemed easier in all the ways. But they are fucking difficult and can’t handle hard times so nothing is really easier anyway.

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So you are saying that the whole “born this way” thing is mostly true. And that I was just born a lesbian and that’s why I’m confused why women are attracted to so many gross men? And that lots of women actually are attracted to them naturally and immediately even without all the brainwashing?.. Even the big ape looking dudes?

And all these women who don’t really feel instincts of attraction towards anyone but are still enjoying when things happen.. what would you consider them asexual? Even if they enjoy having sex but don’t feel the attraction at first?

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I’ve seen a bunch of times women saying some variation of this online: I’m bi, which means I like one guy and every girl I see. One time I saw it as Jeff Goldblum and every girl. Lol I don’t get the Jeff Goldblum thing. But that seems common where women will say they are bi but really be mostly into women and then can maybe feel attraction towards one guy who will win them over. So do you think that means that’s just learned behavior to like that one guy because they are supposed to at least like one guy and they probably wouldn’t without having to be told to?

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how on EARTH can anything about being with a male be easy?!? PiV (esp. when it’s as poorly mitigated as it is in US) + muscle mass + oppressor status alone NULLIFY everything

I couldn’t deal with 1 even if he bathed my feet in lavender daily

I DO think that you’re very gay, my lovely fishie :_))) I can’t wait to blast a boombox under your ex’s window :

“”She HAS A GF NOW””

! la la

Will respond fully later

That 1 be-penised creature (which my ovaries ran away with the fairies over) – the reaction was the most engulfing experience I ever had, WITHOUT touching HIM even, – the memory got me thru the worst of cancer

If u let a male into your vicinity without a thorough scan 1st: –7 he gets his excited, grubby paws on you>it’s too darn late

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so yep – totes learned. there’re variations too, like almost lesbians – who really crave Piv (not the ‘after-the -fact’ way you enjoyed , but in the primal sense that I do )

Others ‘re eager for penetration during sex – but only the 1st thrust is any good – rest is crap. – as that’s all that’s needed – dudes’re not programmed to stop

others’ll hate the bastard’s previously enticing smell while knocked-up, or find he’s no longer hot after birthing – well, the Job of reproductive matching is now done

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matched knock=up locks-out| reduces chances of subsequent attempts for years on end 0 with prolonged breast-feeding

Pill + anti-depressants mess with this BIG time

I felt like a child again on the latter – 0 urges. I had no desire to look in their direction to scan. But it did not affect my female appeal whatsover

What’s notable : Mid -cycle I shift the Kinsey dial a tad. Hormones operating the 2 peaks’re different | Testosterone when bleeding | Estrogen when the ovum strikes

Coming off Pill can make GFs turn around & wonder why the hell they’re with this greasy nerd of theirs. Hence the theory that it was developed to direct our caste towards weaklings

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I don’t use the word ‘attracted “”for a humongous reason:
It’s a propaganda term

All a woman like me is driven towards is a process prone to being Nasty, Brutish + Short, after which the brute is ready to be sent off on his merry way, or fed to the crocs (more like it)

I find most plain – to -repulsive as well. All but one I ever clicked on :
were somewhat classically handsome. There’re a few which do look good – but they don’t match – so they’re just cold beauties

The others (which lubricate once the party’s started ) -try to prevent life-threatening tears

I didn’t date for the same reason u mentioned: having to pretend like I give a fig about the gene-carrier ,-requires acting talent I dont’ posess! while I’d much rather spend it on worthy lasses

They don’t handle hard times – cos they’re coddled from before the age of cognition. + the whole point of ensnaring a female :> so that SHE makes HIS life easy

It makes me sad to hear that things were that lesbo-phobic when you were young. It seems like yesterday. I had an acquaintance dating a girl

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my eternally-boning mummy also didn’t care 2 hoots about 28 of them -as people. She managed to avoid living with them for all but 9 years of her marriages/kept separate beds in last one

she got sentimental about 1 briefly`~`the bum left her w. a fetus, asked to keep it ! …&buggered off back to Lebanon! ! !! ! Fetus wasn’t me, but I woulda been better off if it were-cos she matched with him – maybe a chance of being healthier…..

last one she only stuck with , as she’s old +ill. spent ALL her time complaining about everything she does with him +his (expecting to be coddled) nature

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But I always knew I liked women.. I realized that like as soon as I knew that was a thing when I was pretty little. The only question is wondering how much of female attraction towards men is actually fabricated.

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everything beyond their body registering them as prize DNA injection IS. I’m doing a big post on this – as inspired by you partly
men carry 1 X – so this what a group of us’re really hunting

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we’re dumber than our sisters – the whiptails/ We haven’t learnt to wheedle that X out of them -other than offering up our orifice. Remember how TYP said that women might’ve launched the Y – to make a better daughter? Notice how most advanced organisms ‘re sexed

A man actually passes on nothing onto his female offspring – the X is borrowed from his female ancestors. My sister looks more like her father’s side aunt – than her dad

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that’s what I comfort myself with – everytime my bod floods me with a lusty haze : that it’s motivated by the search for a daughter, who’ll be cooler yet than myself :-

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^ u get that with vegetarianism.

But it’s funny how much of that reproductive program (AKA Sexual Preference) is already set in by childhood

In the pre-AIDS 80s, there was a Hollywood trend of making respectable films, which played out like female-friendly erotica in slivers. I remember the precise shot of Eric Roberts doing some pleasant, sensual things to an actress’ naked upper &being mesmerised.<I saw that as a child & it's EXACTLY what grown women like universally

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that your body registers them as baby-makers. either as parthenogenic genetic memory, or a variation – like left vs right-handers. that’s what makes the chemical intensity switch on – as opposed to your male reactions ( oh, this is kinda fun)

which is why u actually have some lesbians that LOOK it. who can’t hide, no matter how much femininity they slap on – cos it’s not rooted in anything social, or emotional. it’s a reproductive drive for EVERYBODY. who knows – maybe this gene-matching capacity is what made us as super-brainy as we are,& why the nagging pleasure drive is such a persistent bastard until successful reproductive result (s)

it could be that the poor genetic-matching is done by women ,who don’t feel a pull towards anybody

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I always spin -off into this deep, molecular stuff with u like crazy . You’re like my Milena to Albert (assuming the num-nut actually ever did ANY of that work)…in between knocking her up thrice, not marrying her after a mere daughter….well u must know that stuff ;_)}

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tearing can also cause un-stoppable bleeding . All this £gyrate + press the A-spot stuff £ we’re absorbed in today: is a floating -in -the -clouds sorta luxury #possible to seek out only in a bubble of highly artificial circumstances

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Hmm I’m still thinking about all this and pretty confused. Like I get what you’re saying, but isn’t the whole “looking like a lesbian” a bunch of stereotypes? The things people would associate are stuff like looking “manly” and being overweight. Sometimes straight women are called lesbians because they are perceived that way too.

I already believed exclusively homosexual males have a genetic basis and the purpose is to lessen the violence towards females if there are too many males. They’ve done studies where in large populations of males there will be more homosexual behavior even among animals, and I remember a study where they were saying after a woman has multiple male children the younger ones will be more likely to be gay.

I’m not sure about female sexuality and it seems more confusing. But all these women say they are attracted to men and wish they weren’t so I guess that they are. If it’s something large amounts of women don’t like and they can’t make it go away then I guess it’s real, IDK. I’ve seen a bunch of women saying they wish they were a lesbian because they hate men but they aren’t attracted to women and they are in feminist spaces where they can say whatever they want about hating men without people giving them shit about it. That’s confusing to me because women are so sexy and I always thought that women who didn’t think so were just repressed by societal brainwashing.

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Yeah I have a feeling Einstein’s work was mostly just claiming credit for what Mileva did lol. That seems to be the way things always go. I wonder why Madame Curie actually got credit for her work and is actually more well known then her husband, when so many women are just forgotten while the dude takes all the credit.

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I just read something saying how women read about how in the past all these women were subjected to like 20 years of straight pregnancies until it killed them and they think that relationships with men are so much better now, but all that is better is women’s protection from men, the men would still fuck women to death and not care if there was no birth control methods and abortion. Yeah very grim but true way of putting it. I doubt if there was suddenly no condoms and no birth control from doctors that men would go, okay let’s stop doing this because it’s dangerous for you.

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i don’t mean butch as a performance. But u get a vibe from certain women – look up Missy Higgins. I was thoroughly unsurprised by Jodie Foster

BC KILLS on its own – it’s connected to a giant increase in Crohns

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some’d only stop if there was strong material incentive – for instance the middle class in 1800s had a drastic reduction in births – as each extra mouth could sink them into poverty.

While condoms etc. WERE around they wouldn’t be available , or known about as easily as today. Sometimes they were illegal,.- i saw it suggested that they simply abstained a lot

In Australia , TFR was already a mere 2.2 in 1860!!

Even a single birth typically makes a sane woman want to don a space suit to avoid contact w. sperm. All recreational value goes Pouff. Also – u’d never want to reproduce with a man you DO connect with emotionally- as you’ll come to hate him all day, every day for impregnating you. Go off & bone elsewhere if u want a baby – is my general advice

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Interesting, can you describe it more than a vibe though? It just seems like a lack of doing things that are considered pleasing to men that would make someone think that a woman is a lesbian.

Like Jodie Foster is very natural and wears comfortable clothing. She’s not trying to perform anything to be either “feminine” or “butch,” just being her natural self so it’s assumed she must be a lesbian.

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these days, with sewing up of childbearing tears – it still takes months, year or never to heal * making the deed excruciating *. Can u imagine what unsewn damage from 10 or 12 labours’d do?!? esp. with pricks not waiting. even the modern concession of 6 weeks is laughably short.

Also, the modern standard of coming 1st with oral ~thus facilitating prodding while drunk on endorphins + total relaxation ~~is AGain ~an artsy|fartsy development

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